Thursday, April 11, 2013

If Men Were Like Underwear

OMG I haven't done one of these is a while.  But here we go....

We've done candles.  We've done dogs.  Last time we did cars and now finally.  UNDERWEAR.  Not just any underwear.  But ladies underwear.

Let me clarify that by underwear I'm not just talking panties.  Oh no.  We're going for the whole nine yards here.


The Thong Man

Let's face it.  He makes you a tad uncomfortable.  I'm talking the kind of guy that says things that aren't necessarily RUDE but at the same time, get your hackles up a bit.  You know the comments that  are a compliment and yet an insult at the same time?  Just enough that there's always SOMETHING in the back of your mind bugging you.

The Push-up Bra Man

Face it this guy just runs around screaming LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME!!  He's all style no substance.  Flashy upfront to distract you from the fact that he probably lacks both a personality and or a brain.  I mean he serves his purpose as arm candy but in the end, he's vapid and unable to fix your car if you get a flat tire out of fear of ruining his manicure.

The Garter Belt Man

This dude just tries WAY too hard.  He always has those cheesy cliche things to say that you're pretty sure he's said to a million other women.  He's got an act and it's so comfortable to him that he can play it out without thinking.  The right thing, at the right moment all the time.  Like all he has to do is pull out a prescribed formula of things and BOOM you're sucked in. 

The Control Top Pantyhose Man

This guy takes himself  way too seriously.  I mean come on.  He works that much harder than everyone around him to the point where it drives you crazy but do you really see any benefit?  I mean why all the extra effort for very little results?

The Granny Panty Man

This is your best guy friend and/or the boyfriend you've had for so long that you no longer have any shame around him.  Think comfort.  Think casual.  Probably too casual.  He probably farts and scratches his balls in front of you at this point. Neither of you have any shame at this point in your relationship.

The Boyshort Man

He's stylish but fun.  Cute but sexy.   Doesn't take himself too seriously and honestly he's flexible.  Take him to a party or take him to the mall.  It's all good.


Cheers,

Ash



2 comments:

  1. Haha, love these! I want Granny Panties man in my life ;)

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    1. LOL Totally. Minus the whole ball scratching thing.

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