Thursday, February 28, 2013

Does Anyone Else.....

OK.  So I came to terms long ago with the fact that I'm a little neurotic.
Ok I'm a lot neureotic.
Neat right?  NO!!

And I have OCD.

But every once in a while.  I find myself doing something and I think, "I can't be the only person who does this."  I mean none of them are excessivly crazy and some I think are just common sense.

Here's a few examples.

If you do ANY of these things as well please let me know.  Also if you have any other quirks that you would like to share feel free.  Just keep in mind that I may adopt those quirks as my own.

1.  Clearing left over time on the microwave.  I can't NOT do this. 
I do it at the office multiple times a day.  I do it at my parents house.  I do it at my friends houses.  It drives me CRAZY. 

2. I HAVE to put colour co-ordinated kleenex boxes in each room.  I mean seriously, they need to match the decor.

3. Folding and re-folding things.  I will re-fold something like 3 times till I get it right.  Even if it's a pair of socks, if it's not done properly I can't bear to put it in the drawer that way.

4. Staying to the right.  Ok I'm a pedestrian.  And in a crowded city, it drives me nuts when other pedestrians are just walking along all willy nilly in the opposite direction bumping into people.  This especially goes for stairs.  I mean don't you just LOVE it when there's one person pushing through a group of people while moving against traffic? 

5. Counting stairs.  I don't know why I do this and I don't do it EVERY time but I have a habit of counting the stairs as I climb them. 

Please don't have me committed.  I'm a perfectly safe crazy person!

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

I've Done My Good Deed for the Day

So apparently my good deed for the day was slipping on some ice on my way to work and falling flat on my ass.

In front of other people.


Yeah.  I'm THIS Co-ordinated.
*rubs sore butt*

The up side of this scenario was that in gracelessly falling on my ass, I unknowingly saved an old lady with a hip replacement from the same fate.

I guess that's something at least.  Especially considering this is the THIRD TIME this winter that I've fallen on the ice.

How do I manage it?

Easy.  I'm a klutz.

Add to that the fact that it's winter in Canada, my walk to the Subway is downhill and early in the morning I'm not the most aware person on the planet and the result is me assplanting on a semi-regular basis.

Thankfully my butt was squishy enough to brace my fall.



PS. The BEST part of stopping that old lady from slipping?  She actually THANKED me.  She said if she had fallen it could have been horrible and that although me falling sucked, I saved her unknown amounts of pain.


This is how unimpressed I was to have fallen.

LOVE Grumpy Cat.

Monday, February 25, 2013

A Note on The Oscars

I know there's going to be a ton out there on this today but here's my 2 cents.

Best Dressed.....totally goes to Jennifer Garner. Hands down.  That dress was gorgeous.

Worst Dressed.....Nicole Kidman.   I'm not into the whole skin tight glittery thing.  And OMG what the hell has happened to her lips???

Seth MacFarlane is an asshole.  I know, I know.  What did I expect from the creator of Family Guy?  But seriously. He's racist, he's sexist, he's kinda cute but overall?  An asshole.  And you know it's bad when you start the show by pointing out that everyone is going to say you're the worst Oscar presenter EVER and bring out Captain Kirk to save your ass.


Anne Hathaway. 

There are tons of people on the Internet that LOVE to hate Anne Hathaway.

I don't hate her but I don't like her either. 

Let me clarify.  I don't dislike her in movies.  I dislike her when she's speaking personally.  She's too cutesy and sugary sweet.  I just don't buy it.  Her cheesy opening of "It came true!!" like can you be more cliche and fake?  She just comes across as very disingenuous. 

And I'm not the only one.  Check out this article.  And just look at the picture?  Could your smile be  any more phony?

That aside, I enjoyed The Oscars.  

I loved that they did a tribute to Musicals.  I mean.  Shirley Bassey, Barbara Streisand, Adele, Jennifer Hudson, the cast from Les Miserables, Nora Jones and even Catherine Zeta-Jones busted out in full Chicago form.


But dear dear pint sized Kristin Chenoweh.  That duet at the end with Seth MacFarlane to "The Losers" was soooooooooo beneath you.

And randomly, what the hell was going on with Michelle Obama "presenting" Best Picture?  At first I thought OMG, she's presenting because they're going to give it to Lincoln and that would make sense but WTF?



Pissed about any of the winners or losers?



Friday, February 22, 2013


Ever have one of those days where you don't know if you should scream, pull your hair out, drink or cry?

Maybe all of the above?

At the same time?

I'm having one of those days.

Hell I'm having one of those WEEKS.

The weather has been super cold, rainy, snowy, grey and shitty.

People have been short tempered, annoying or just plain stupid.

It seriously seems like everyone has lost their minds.

And it's not even a full moon!!!

I have spent the entire day at work feeling like I'm doing nothing more than fixing problem after problem, putting out fires or hand holding adults who need to put their big kid pants on and do shit for themselves.

Oh sorry, did I actually say that out loud?

All I wanted to do tonight was go home, hang with my awesome kitty, read a book and drink some wine. 

Now?  I have to bring work home with me because none of the stuff I NEEDED to do, actually got done today.

So instead of my nice relaxing weekend of hibernation and hiding in my personal introvert Hamster Ball, I have work that needs to be done.

The only plus side is that I am totally doing it in my pj's at home after a few glasses of wine.  And if the math doesn't add up or my grammar SUCKS people can just kiss my ass. 

End Rant.



See that face?  That is the face I am currently making!!!

Fluffy Thing Fridays - Penguins!

I love Penguins.

I loved Happy Feet.

I loved Happy Feet 2.

And despite making me cry like a little girl, I loved The March of The Penguins.

I even love the fact that 2 gay male Penguins have been able to adopt a chick.  It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

So when I put a call out to readers last week to make any suggestions as to which fluffy animal I could feature next, I jumped on Katie's idea that it should be PENGUINS.

Katie LOVES Penguins.  Like me, I'm sure she secretly wants a pet one that she could let swim around in her bathtub.

Am I right?

So without further ado.  Penguins!

LOTS of Penguins!  They look so fluffy. I want to snuggle them.

Emperor Penguins get all the attention.  
I secretly think King Penguins and their shaggy brown babies are just as cute.

Awwwww.  Penguin family.

Seriously, Morgan Freeman should narrate EVERYTHING.

If anyone has any other requests, put them in the comments.  I'm looking for either cute animals, or animals you think are ugly/creepy/scary so I can prove they can be cute.



Obligatory Cat Picture.  I love Tuxedo Cats. 

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Oh Google Analytics. You Make Me Giggle.

I always get a kick out of looking at my blog stats.  I mean who knew I had fans in Morocco and United Arab Emirates?


Hi BTW!!!

Anywhoodle, Quirky Chrissy posted about the awesome ways people have found her blog and totally blames me for any people potentially finding her blog by searching for VD and The Clap.

Sorry dude.  

Here's the funniest and most appropriate ways people have come across my blog.

"ThatAshGirl"  - YAY for Smart People

"Dating in your late 20s" - And many variations of these words.

"I'm not a workaholic" - I totally am

"Best Cookware for Baby Boombers" - WTF??

"Craving Kiwi" - OMG you too dude??

"Cute Fluffy Animals" - Score!! Fluffy Thing Friday's are WORKING.

"Dating Sucks" - Ya think?

"Early dating with a late person" - What does this even MEAN? 

"Fuck you Facebook" - Yeah!  And your little dog too!!

"Good girls gone bad in late 20s" - Ok people.  There's no porn here.  Keep it moving.

"Shut up already with all your valentine's day crap" - Does someone need a hug?

"Worst holidays for being alone" - New Years Dude.  New Years.

"Should I unfriend a childhood friend" - I don't know, are they a tool? If so then YES.



Wednesday, February 20, 2013

The Joys of Being an Introvert

Something came up in therapy the other night that I'm still trying to process.  And like a good Blogger I'm reaching out to you guys for some perspective.

For those who need a refresher here's some background.

Therapy Turned Me Into A Watering Pot

To Therapy or NOT to Therapy

I was at a bit of a crossroads with therapy and not happy with my therapist as well as the progress I wasn't making.  We discussed it and although I'm not where I want to be, I feel like talking it out with her helped and things are going better.  I feel like we have actual discussions rather than me sitting there thinking what to say.

My big thing was that although yes, I now have a better understanding of WHY I feel the way I do.  That has done nothing at all to help me stop those thought patterns.

Apparently part of my issue is that I've become so good at convincing myself that everything is OK, that I've convinced everyone of the same thing.  So going back to my therapist going on and on about getting my needs met, part of my frustration with that statement is that I DON'T HAVE AN EFFING CLUE WHAT MY NEEDS EVEN ARE?!?!

My therapist actually said that even she was having a hard time cracking my shell because I'm vary rarely vulnerable enough to show how I'm actually feeling.  That I've pushed it all inside for so long that I don't even realize that I've got this mask on anymore. 

The problem is that I don't view myself as being closed off.  And even talking to a few friends, they don't really view me as being closed off either.

What I am, is an introvert. 

I don't open up to everyone I meet instantly.  It's a trust and comfort thing. 

Add to that the fact that as an introvert, I am by my nature a fairly private person who values the fact that I am viewed as being composed and capable. 

Have I buried my own emotional needs so deep that I don't even know what they are anymore?  Totally.  But that doesn't make me the aloof or cold person that it's implied I can appear.

Also, if you haven't come across this already the following is THE BEST description of what it means to be an introvert that I have ever come across.  It is very accurate right down to the hamster ball and the fact that just because I'm an introvert doesn't mean I don't get lonely too.

And here's another good article if anyone is curious.



Obligatory Cat Picture.  Keeping with the Hamster Ball theme we've got going.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Fluffy Thing Fridays - Squirrels. Yes Squirrels.


Really Ash?

Yes.  Squirrels!!!

I know they're a pain in the ass.  I know they're like Urban rats.

But honestly.  They're pretty damn cute.

Like the Hamster you had as a kid but with a kick ass fluffy tail.

Awwwww.  Right?

This little dude needs to go on a diet.

Who could say no to that little face?

I don't even have words.

Awww look at them all napping together.

OK, I know this is a Chipmunk but I don't care.  Cheeks!!

If you don't believe me at this point check out the following video. 

p.s This also doubles as my obligatory cat picture because come on, it's a squirrel that thinks it's a kitten!!!



Btw...  Do you have a fluffy animal you want me to feature?  Or better the comments post an animal you dislike and I will prove to you that it can be cute.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Some People LOVE to HATE Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day.

You either love it.  Or you hate it.

Personally, I hate it.  But we'll get into that later.

Because although I hate Valentine's Day, what I truly hate.  Are the people who LOVE to HATE Valentine's Day.

You know who I'm talking about.  The people that will not shut up about how crappy V-Day is and how cliche and commercial it is. 

You know.  The people that are ALMOST as annoying as the gushy one's who won't shut up about how much sweet stuff their significant other is doing for them.

Here's my issue with Valentine's Day.  Yes it's a commercial whore of a holiday.  I get it.  That's not my big beef.

My big beef is the people that go to elaborate extremes for V-Day and use it as an opportunity to get a clean slate for all the crap they've done during the year.

I'm sorry but over priced roses, doesn't fix a shitty relationship.

And honestly, the fact that you only think to do stuff like this on Valentine's Day makes me question if there is any real sincerity to the actions.  I mean are you buying your girlfriend flowers because she deserves a nice treat or are you doing it because it's what is socially expected of you?

I could go on and on but then I'd become one of the people that annoy everyone with how vocally anti V-Day they are.

I get it.  Valentine's Day is shit.

You're single.   You feel like this is the one day a year along with New Years Eve that is created just to make you feel shitty about your single status.


But honestly?  Shut up about it.  Because with all your bitching and ranting about how horrible V-Day is, all anyone is thinking is that you're bitter.  You could have very legitimate views on V-Day but if you're single and ranting about it, all anyone is thinking is that it's a smoke screen to cover up how much you secretly want flowers.

Trust me.  I get it.  I'm single too remember?

So trust me when I say that ranting isn't doing you any favours.

That in mind.  Enjoy it.  It's a cheesy holiday but if you get flowers of a Valentine from a loved one.  Enjoy it and giggle inside like the 13 year old girl we all secretly are.

Hugs and Kisses,


Obligatory Cat Picture for Wendy who lovingly pointed out that I had neglected to include one.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Fluffy Thing Fridays - Alpacas!!!

I LOVE Alpaca's. 

They have cute little faces, they always have a little smile and can we mention the fluff?

A friend of mine lives near a hobby farm that has Alpacas.  I keep threatening to go over there, knock on the dude's door and be like "Can I play with your Alpacas?  Maybe groom them?"  Sad thing is I would TOTALLY do that.

Look at the floof!

And those faces!

I mean seriously.  Look at that face.

Behold the mysterious Alpacapillar.

Even with a buzz cut they look adorable.

And just because I'm CLEARLY a massive nerd.


Monday, February 4, 2013

Why the Super Bowl was just AWESOME.

I admit to loving football.  I really do.  And not just because of the tight pants.

This year's Super Bowl just reminded me WHY I love football.

I don't know the official stats on it but I'm pretty sure more people watch the Super Bowl than the Oscars.  I mean don't the people that go to the Oscars watch the Super Bowl? 

Only in football can a man such as Ray Lewis constantly cry like a little girl and yet manage to still be scary as hell.

Some of the best commercials of all time have come out of the Super Bowl.  If you haven't seen it, check out the following VW Commercial that debuted at the Super Bowl a few years ago.

Half-time shows are over blown, cheesy and generally crappy.  Case in point, Beyonce was apparently trying to prove something by singing live after the flack she got for lip-syncing at the Inauguration.  But honestly?  She SUCKED, but no more than Madonna did last year.  I mean half the time she was just shaking her ass while the track ran in the background.  And then she brought out the other members of Destiny's Child, threw them a bone, and yet managed to still be insulting by having her microphone turned up louder than theirs.

And finally there was the BLACKOUT.

I mean seriously.  A power failure in the middle of the Super Bowl?  How does crap like that happen? And did anyone notice that after about 5 minutes the commentators had no idea what to say to fill the time?

The upside was that Twitter EXPLODED because the Internet lives for shit like this and the result was some of the funniest stuff ever.

Here's some of the stuff I loved:

And my favourite...

There were also lots of jokes about Beyonce being so hot that she blew a circuit but considering I thought her performance SUCKED I'm not going to include those.  If anything, her hairdryer could have been the cause.   

Also, I went into the Super Bowl knowing which Harbaugh brother coached which team but with all the commentators going on about Coach John and Coach Jim I found myself getting confused.  I mean can't we just dub them H1 and H2?

BTW....The REAL winner of the Super Bowl? 




p.s.  I've renamed Super Bowl XLVII "Big Poppa Ray and the Harbaugh Brothers".  Sounds like a 70s Motown band or gay porn. 

Here are more of the funny Tweets from the Super Bowl that Buzzfeed has gathered.