Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Today's Just One of THOSE Days

Ever have one of those days that's just a little off from the second you wake up?

First off it's the end of January and it's foggy and 2C out (that's about 35F for you crazy imperial people).

That wouldn't be THAT shocking if it hadn't been -25C (-13F) with the windchill for a few days just last week.

This morning I also got the awesome pleasure of having a shower that involved no hot water.  Because seriously, my apartment has not hot water today.

Ever tried to rinse conditioner out of your hair with cold water?

Yeah, not so easy.
Yes, I was THIS fucking cold.

After spending 5 minutes of being plastered to the wall on the HOPES that the water was just experiencing a random temperature spike, I came to the conclusion that this shit wasn't getting any warmer and I should probably scrub quickly before shit started to freeze.

I don't even know if I'm clean at this point but I was getting the hell out of there.

Fast forward an hour and I'm warm-er, drinking tea, listening to music and 'enjoying' a long and crowded commute on a very packed Toronto Streetcar.

When sitting in one of the seats across from where I'm standing I spot a super hot guy.  OK, he wasn't SUPER hot but this is why I'm gonna put him in that category:

First, he was reading a book.
Second, that book was written by Terry Pratchett
Third, it was a library book which means this was probably not a reading anomaly.
Fourth, he gave up his seat for an older woman.

So even if he started out only kinda cute, he just got 4 bonus hotness points. 

Which made me think.

My criteria for hotness has drastically changed in the last 5 years or so.  5 years ago I would have looked for tattoos and or general hotness.

Now I'm like, literate and has manners?

Sign me up.

Final on my list of STUFF today is the fact that I have the dreaded Therapy session tonight.    For those of you that have been reading along, I mean THIS Therapy session.  Where I deal with potentially breaking up with my Therapist.  

The bottom line for tonight is going to be that, although what we've done has helped me understand WHY I feel the way I do.  I want help with the next step.  The getting over it step.  Because honestly?  Still feel pretty shitty inside and knowing why I feel that way isn't really helping me NOT feel that way.

Add on to that the fact that the rescheduling, snarky conversation that happened a few weeks ago has essentially broken whatever comfort level I had with her and suffice to say, I'm not looking forward to the conversation.

Part of me is worried that if I opt to not book another appointment with her, that she's going to try and change my mind.  At the end of our sessions she tends to just tell me when I'm coming next and I've realized that I'm not OK with that.  But I also don't know how I'm going to deal with it if she does push back.

Worst case scenario if she gives me a hard time is that I'll book an appointment and then break it down in an email for her.  I don't want to go this route but honestly based on her attitude last time we spoke, I'm not too hopeful.

Did I mention that the whole thing has me so nervous I feel sick to my stomach?

Not good people.  Not good.



Obligatory Therapy Cat Picture

Friday, January 25, 2013

Fluffy Thing Fridays - For the Love of Owls

So I have inadvertently started the habit of posting pictures of cute and fluffy things on Fridays when I'm bored, tired and brain dead.

I have dubbed this series......Fluffy Thing Fridays.

Fluffy Thing Fridays - Because Some Days Just Call for Cute (and Strange) Animals

Fluffy Thing Fridays - A Case of the Mondays. Except it's Friday

Today's list of fluffy things is dedicated to Owls.  I love Owls.  I mean they're cool, smart and despite the sharp beaks and talons, I want to cuddle them.

Look at that little face!  And that stylish little hat!

Is this thing even REAL?  


See?  Even Owls love head pats.

Did I mention I own these book ends?  I have dubbed them My Hooters.

I also have this cute Owl Necklace that I got on Etsy for like $15

And a friend who clearly understands my love of Owls bought me this for my Birthday.
Is it wrong that I totally want these throw pillows for my living room?
 OK that's a little excessive even for me but OMG, how cool is that?!

A little bonus cuteness for those of you who haven't seen it. 


Double Bonus Dirty Harry Owl.

Well do ya, punk?

Thursday, January 24, 2013

If Men Were Like Cars

I felt like it was time to revive this theme.

If you haven't already read them, check out the earlier editions.

If Men Were Like Candles

If Men Were Like Dogs....Literally

I'm considering doing an entire series of these.  Some of the suggestions so far have been "If Men Were Like Underwear", "If Men Were Like Shoes" and this theme "If Men Were Like Cars."

If you have suggestions for any others, please please put them in the comments.

So here we go.

The Minivan Man:

Come on, he's the dad.  Dependable, kinda furry.  Able to lug 2.5 children to and from school along with the family dog.  Which is probably a Golden Retriever BTW.  Still kinda hot despite the greying hair but comfortable in his own skin.

The Pick-up Truck Man:

The Pick-up Truck Man could be one of two things.

Outdoorsy, rugged, handy.  He's the guy lugging dirt and lumber for a building project.  He's the guy that has  a pick-up truck because he NEEDS a pick-up truck.

The alternative is the guy who has a pick-up truck because he thinks it's cool.  He doesn't go off-roading and he doesn't use it to haul anything.  Heck he probably doesn't live anywhere that gets enough snow to require a 4x4.  He's the guy that probably likes having a pick-up because the front seat is a bench and that makes it easier to make out with what ever chick he's got at the moment.  Think, plaid shirt wearing, cigarette smoking, beer can crushing....you get the point.

The American Muscle Car Man:

Personally this is the guy I'd date, but then I am my father's daughter.

This is the guy who knows his cars, and probably does his own oil changes.  He takes pride in his ride not because it's the most expensive or flashy car on the road but because it's his baby. And let's face it, his butt looks great in a pair of jeans and you like riding in his car because you look good sitting in it and you secretly want to drive it yourself.

The European Sports Car Man:

Again, this could be one of two guys.

One is slick, wealthy and arrogant.  He drives a flashy expensive car because he probably has more money than taste and thinks of it as an extension of his penis.  You know the guy I'm talking about.  The only chicks he lets in this thing are super models wearing so little clothes you're constantly wondering if they're cold.  Oh and his accent?  Probably fake.

The alternative is the middle aged man.  He bought a flashy car because he's going through a mid-life crisis and is clinging to his youth.  He doesn't have more money than sense but he's got a pretty decent savings account because he's older and financially responsible.  This is also an extension of his penis but more because he's insecure about his receding hairline.  Generally a good guy, just misguided. 

The Hybrid Car Man:

Nature loving, vegan, wears only natural fibers, rescues birds with broken wings.  Generally a nice guy but he's the kind of guy that makes you feel shitty about yourself because you know he's secretly judging you for eating bacon.  That and he's potentially a skinny jean wearing hipster that only listens to bands you've never heard of, again making you feel like he's secretly judging you because you dance around your apartment in your underwear to Beyonce.

Don't judge me!!!

The Vespa Man:

OK, so technically not a "car" man.  But a man nonetheless.  He's probably wearing short pants, purple socks, a gingham shirt and a cardigan.  He's either super cool and on the go.  Or he's a total nerd.  Either could work.  He probably has a Vespa either because he thinks it's cool or because he doesn't care what that helmet is doing to his hair.  Either way he probably has a messenger bag and nerd glasses. 



Obligatory kitty picture.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

To Therapy or NOT To Therapy

So I'm at a crossroads with the whole therapy thing.

I went really gung-ho at first and got some great insights but now I feel like I've plateaued.

Talking a lot of stuff out has helped me realize WHY I feel the way I do about a lot of things.  But so far, I have had no real insight into what to do to help me STOP feeling the way I do.

I mean I get that it's not a fast process and I really do understand.  But 3-4 months into this and I'd like to be able to say that I'm making some changes in my life.

This whole issue got compounded starting about 2 weeks ago when I attempted to re-schedule one of my appointments because I was dealing with a huge meeting at work and I was afraid that I wouldn't be done in time to make my 5:30pm appoint (which would have resulted in me having to leave the office right at 5:00pm in order to make).

I emailed my therapist the day before explaining the scenario and basically said that I'd rather try to re-schedule than stress about not making it on time or worse yet, not making it on time.

That morning I got a snarky reply about how it was best to not reschedule appointments unless it was an EMERGENCY.  And it was unfortunate that my work was resulting in me not being able to have my other needs met.  Then resulted in a jab about how she requires 24 hours notice for all cancellations. 

Btw....my email request had gone out at about 5:43pm. When by her rules TECHNICALLY it should have gone out by 5:30pm.  Really? 

Now I may be totally blowing this out of proportion but I was left feeling very uncomfortable about the whole thing.  Yes it was unfortunate that my job was resulting in me having to shift an appointment.  But the reality is, that I have a job that's not always 9-5 and sometimes it's difficult managing weekly appointments. 

I apologized for not giving her a FULL 24 hours notice but given the circumstances did that extra 13 minutes really make or break the deal?  And can I mention that she works till 8pm and it took her till after 10am the following day to reply to my message?

Bottom line is yes, it was unfortunate that I had to cancel the appointment.  But I didn't appreciate being made to feel guilty about doing so.  It's not like I'm constantly changing appointments.  And the reality is that weekly appointments are sometimes difficult to manage.

But honestly I'm feeling a little uncomfortable about the whole thing now. 

I've been considering taking a break to mentally re-group for a while and now I'm pretty convinced that I may possibly need a different therapist.  I may have gone as far as I can go with this particular path and like working out, I need to up my intensity ;)

Because in the grand scheme of things, therapy shouldn't be adding to my stress.  And an uncomfortable relationship with your therapist is probably never a good thing.

Thoughts? Recommendations?  Am I just batshit crazy?



Friday, January 18, 2013

Fluffy Thing Fridays - A Case of the Monday's. Except it's Friday.

Happy Friday people.

I haven't written this week and I don't have a real explanation for why.

All I can say is that I have a case of the Mondays.

If you don't get this reference, go watch Office Space. Do it NOW!!

I've been feeling a little blah all week.  The office has been busy, I've been battling a cold, I haven't been sleeping well and it's been pretty grey and gloomy outside.

All of this has resulted in me having no motivation AT ALL.  To do ANYTHING.

But today I figured I'd say hello in celebration of it being Friday because trust me, there hasn't been a TFIF (yes I say TFIF not TGIF) moment greater than this morning when my alarm went off.

My brain is still pretty much mush so in celebration of my boss "working from home" today, I figured I'd take some time to share some of the things that have crossed my plate that either made me giggle or squee this week.

OMG if looks could kill.

It's OK little dude, I got ya covered.

We've already discussed this topic HERE.  

Reading AND Technology in one joke.  Sigh.  Happy Ash.

If you haven't checked this site out.  Do it.  It's hilarious.
Also do you know why there is no Catshaming.com?  

Case in point.  My little dude Jasper
in jungle predator mode trying to attack my fingers
while I type.  

Every single one of these is TRUE.

OMG look at that face!

I hope everyone has an awesome Friday and an epic weekend.



Friday, January 11, 2013

Fluffy Thing Fridays - Because some days just call for cute (and strange) animals

Today is one of those days.

I'm exhausted and my brain has turned to mush so I'm posting this for my own entertainment.

Here's a bunch of cute baby animals that you've probably never even heard of.

This is a baby Pudu.  Ain't it cute?  Look at that little tongue!!

 This is a Quokka.  He's a cousin of the Wombat.

This is an Echidna.  He's like the freakly love-child of a Hedgehog and a Platypus.

This is an Aye-Aye.  So creepy he's cute.

This is a Sea Pig. WTF?

Back to "cuter" things.  This is a Silky Anteater.

This is a Tenrec.

This is a Cuscus.

And finally this little guy is a Potto.

Cute aren't they?



Btw....YAY it's Friday!!

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Why the NHL can kiss my ass.

I'm Canadian. 

What that means is, that on a genetic level, I have a great love for the game of hockey.

Which of course means that in typing the above title, a little bit of my soul died.

For you non-sports people who don't know, the NHL has finally come to the end of one of the shittiest lock-outs in hockey history.  If you feel the need to understand the why, read THIS.

The why is not really the problem.  Because at this point I DON'T GIVE A CRAP.

I refuse to come running because they have finally managed to get their shit together. 

Now I'm from Toronto.  And we already have a tenuous relationship with our team.  The Toronto Maple Leafs are the most financially successful teams in the NHL.  Tickets to see a home game, are some of the most costly in professional sports.  And to top it all off, we suck and are the most hated team in all of hockey. 

Ok we don't REALLY suck.  But we haven't made the playoffs in what, 7 years?  And we haven't won a championship since 1967.

And yet every single year they sell out every single game.  And every pre-season, there's some idiot on the news saying he's going to mark his spot on Yonge St. for the parade because THIS will be the year that we win the Cup. 

Are you shitting me?

At least the up-side of the strike was that I had a few more months where I didn't have to watch the Leafs lose.

But now hockey is coming back. 


Except, I won't be watching it.

I joined a football pool this year and have been following the NFL because a girl needs a sport to watch!  And my hockey wasn't around when I needed it, so like a trampy teenage girl, I went looking for something better.  Something that would support MY needs as a sports fan.  And ya know what?  I stopped missing hockey months ago.  And now that it's come crawling back?  I'm going to teach it a lesson and make it wait for when I'm READY to forgive it.



Tuesday, January 8, 2013


Every so often, my OCD runs rampant and I feel the need to organize everything in sight.

I mean, not to say that everything isn't already organized.  But something will nag at me and then once I start.....OMG.  MUST.....ORGANIZE......EVERYTHING!!

It started with my books.

As I've mentioned, I have more books than square footage.  And because of some design features in my apartment, I don't have room for another bookcase.

What that means kids, is that I have to get bloody creative in my organizing.

Because of the books I got for Christmas, I have officially maxed out the places I can strategically put books in my apartment and still have it look 'decorative'.

I've got large art books on the tops of my bookcase, I've strategically stacked books on my shelf to be not only decorative but to utilize the vertical shelf space as well as the horizontal, I've got books on my mantle, I've got books on my desk.

In order to accomplish this, I bought cute bookends.  A few decorative boxes to store things in and that's where it began.

Once I start organizing.  Things tend to get a bit out of control.

Owl bookends.  Like my hooters?
All of a sudden, I needed shelves in my linen closet to organize things.  I need a new shower caddy to hold my shampoo and various hair related products.

I needed a new trash can in my bathroom.

I needed this can organizing thing for my kitchen cupboard.

Ooooo.  Look at the cool thing they make to organize your sock drawer!!!!

And did I mention I need something to organize the shoes by my front door?

Ya see where I'm going with this?

Once you start.  It is almost impossible to stop.  And I'm not really in a position to drop $300 on organizational STUFF for my apartment.

But now that I know all this stuff needs to be done.  I can't help but focus on it.  Now all I see, are the shoes at my front door.  OMG why do I have so many shoes?

And this my friends is why going to stores like Solutions, when you have OCD and a hankering to organize is a BAD IDEA.

Looks like 2013 is going to be the year of CRAZY.



BTW.....for a good laugh, check this list out from Buzzfeed.

19 Things That Will Drive Your OCD Self Insane

Honestly, #15 kills me.  There are 2 microwaves in our office and it drives me crazy.  I have been known to do this at friends houses.  It hurts my head.


Friday, January 4, 2013

My "To Read" List

I've mentioned it before.  But I'll mention it again.  I'm a book nerd.

Like seriously.

I have more books than square footage in my apartment.

Books can be found in every room of my apartment.

I have an Excel spreadsheet of my books.   I have OCD, get over it :P

Not to mention I worked at a bookstore for about 5 years.

Yay books!!   *\o/*

So of course, I asked for books for Christmas.  And I got them.

What this means is that my "To Read" list is getting bigger and bigger all the time.

It's currently sitting just shy of over 300 books.  Yeah you read that right.  3, count 'em, 300 books.  And that's not even including all the books I want to re-read because it's been years and a new part in a series is coming out and I want to re-cap.  I don't even know what that number would be.

But I'm going to set myself reasonable goals and start out with the 20 that I am going to target first.

So here we go:

1.  "Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore" by Robin Sloan.
I just started this and love it so far.  I mean come on, anything set in a bookstore is right up my alley.

2. "Brains: A Zombie Memoir" by Robin Becker
How can I not read this.

3. "City of Lost Souls" by Cassandra Clare
Yeah it's teen fiction.  I know.  But I've read the others and it's my brain candy.

4. "House of Leaves" by Mark Z. Danielewski
I have been intrigued by this book for months now. 

5. "Still Alice" by Lisa Genova
This is probably going to be an emotional one, but it's a book club read in April.

6. "In One Person" by John Irving
Love John Irving.  Love. Love. Love.

7. "A Dance With Dragons" George R.R. Martin
This book is sitting on my shelf mocking me.  I honestly needed a break after reading the rest of this series pretty much back to back but come on Ashley.  It's time to conquer that shit and get it done.

8. "Ten" by Gretchen McNeil
Another teen one but one that comes HIGHLY recommended.

9 and 10. "Spellbound" and "13" by Kelley Armstrong.
I'm way behind in her "Women of the Otherworld" series.  But she's Canadian and sets some of her stuff in Toronto so I keep up with the series.

11. "The 100-Year Old Man Who Climbed out the Window and Disappeared" by Jonas Jonasson
Another one that comes highly recommended.

12. "Styxx" by Sherrilyn Kenyon
What?  Did you expect everything on here to be serious?  This is a total guilty pleasure that I've been reading since I was in university.  It's trashy paranormal romance but I don't give a crap.  It's awesome trashy paranormal romance.

13. "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" by Lynn Truss
It's a book on Grammar and Punctuation.  How have  I not already read this book?

14. "Cutting for Stone" by Abraham Verghese
This is another book club read.  I wasn't looking forward to it when it was announced but other people have since raved about it.

15.  "Written in My Own Hearts Blood" by Diana Gabladon
This is presuming it is actually released in 2013.  Katie at Words for Worms and I are both holding our breath on this one. I think if it does actually get released I may not sleep for a few days as I try to jam the entire thing in ASAP.  On a side note.  This is one of the series I want to do a re-read of.  7 books, 8 including this one.  All are large enough to injure someone if you hit them in the head with it.  Sounds like a plan!!

16. "World Without End" by Ken Follett
I loved The Pillars of the Earth.  But I'm wary of a sequel written so many years later.

17. "Iced" by Karen Marie Moning
I started this book but had to put it aside.  It's the spin-off of a series I loved but OMG.  The main character pisses me off to no end. 

18. "The Kingmaker's Daughter" by Philippa Gregory
Another in a long series that I've been reading.  I love my historical fiction.

19. "The Nightmare" by Lars Kepler
Sequel to The Hypnotist.  If you liked the Millennium Trilogy by Stieg Larsson.  Check this series out.

20. "The Fifth Child" by Doris Lessing
Sounds creepy and different.  Another recommendation from a friend.



Thursday, January 3, 2013

Happy New Year!!.....can't talk.....gotta go puke

Happy New Year my lovelies!!!

As you're already guessing, I had an "interesting" New Years.

Oh we hear you singing...trust me.
The holidays were great. My birthday on the 24th was awesome despite the whole turning 29 business. 

Christmas Day was stressful but the turkey was fantastic.  Plus....presents.

Boxing Day sales were pretty impressive on the 26th. 

I saw Les Miserables (OMG MUST SEE!!) with my book club on the 27th.

Had lunch and saw The Hobbit (part 1 of like 50) on the 28th with a friend from work, and on the 29th drank wine and watched Mean Girls with a friend from University. 

And then on the 30th Ash rested.  Cause seriously? I needed a nap.

Then came the 31st. 

After what was actually a stressful as hell day.  I ended up last minute hanging out with a friend but ended up going home at about 10 because you guessed it.  I got sick.  Not the flu.  Not from copious amounts of alcohol.

Food Poisoning.

A knife life feeling to the gut followed by about a solid hour of puking my guts out.

How bad was it?  I actually burst some blood vessels around my eyes and mouth.

Apparently that's a common thing.  Who knew?

But after a day of curling up on the couch with my cat and a 2 day fast/diet/didn't want to eat out of fear of more puke, I'm back at the office and bloody glad that it's Thursday.  You know what would be better?  Friday. 

Hope everyone had an awesome Christmas.  And here's to a hopefully puke free 2013!!



Obligatory cat photo.....Jasper was clearly loving the wrapping paper on Christmas morning.