Tuesday, December 11, 2012

The Self Conscious Introvert GOES to a Party

I survived the staff Christmas Party that I was spazzing about when I wrote THIS.

We had a very nice dinner and then a bunch of us ended up at a bar afterwards.  The food was great, the alcohol was liberally applied and there were only a few minor catastrophes.  Nothing I couldn't survive.

So we closed our office at 4pm because all us girls had to rush home and primp in order to be at the restaurant for 6pm cocktails and 7pm dinner.

Now it's 15 minutes for me to get home in a cab, 40 if I take the subway.  So cab it was. 
Problem being, there was a huge accident up the street from my office and the police had shut down traffic in both directions.  So no cab.

Once I arrived home, I was already short about 30 minutes of primp time in an already condensed schedule.  I figured if I was going to arrive fashionably late at 6:15 or so, I needed to be in a cab and out my door by 5:45. 

Showered, contacts in, hair in the almighty towel turban I got all my accessories and stuff ready.

I started drying my hair and OMG, I need a hair cut.  It took me almost 45 minutes!!! to get the monstrosity that is my hair dried and straightened.  And that was a not perfect, rush job. 

So I'm dressed, primped and waiting for the cab (which took almost 20 minutes to pick me up BTW) and I'm out the door.

I get to the restaurant and I notice that OMG something in the car has snagged my pantyhose from above my knee all the way down to my ankle.  So I have the inner dilemma.  Leave them on, or take them off?

Thankfully NOT one of my co-workers
Off they went because having a snag on black hose is just tacky and visible.

To make things worse, my hair is not staying straight and making every attempt to burst into it's natural curly/wavy form which will eventually result in me looking like I stuck my finger in a light socket. 

Did I mention I actually woke up with a pimple on my nose that morning?  Yeah, I did.  My karma is THAT GOOD.

All in all, once I had a few drinks I didn't care that my legs were freezing, my hair was getting bigger by the minute and that my eyes were starting to hurt from the contacts that I very rarely wear. 

It was a good night. 

And then it started.  One of the firms partners and 2 of the directors decided that they needed to turn my dating life into a project. 

See this is what happens when you work with marketers.

There was the discussion that I needed to figure out what my brand image was, determine what consumers....I mean men I wanted to target and then come up with a communication plan.  To top it off, they are going to write my online dating profile and pre-screen my dates.

Can you tell they had been drinking?

I wanted to die, but at the same time it was hilarious.

At least I wasn't the only one being targeted.  One of the other single girls wanted in on it and they pounced on her dating life with just as much enthusiasm.  By the end of the night, they had 5 of us single girls and were contemplating putting it out to the whole company for their opinion in a project they called the "How to Catch the Right Man" tutorial that they were going to run. 

How do I know they were calling it that?  Because one of them sent out a bloody email to the ENTIRE COMPANY trying to determine the best time slot to have this discussion.

It was about that time, that I quickly downed my last vodka and called it a night.




  1. oh... my... This is a big reason why I've stopped drinking with co-workers: they try and meddle around and you know how I feel about meddling. I think my coworkers would do stuff like this to try and figure me out. The worst is when you wake up the next morning and you're like, "did that really just happen." That's the dreaded feeling I have every morning after drinking with co-workers.

    Also, the pantyhose thing has happened to me way more than I care to admit so when it's a big function, I'll bring an extra pair and pray to god both don't rip.

    1. LOL it was the email to staff at midnight saying we were going to discuss it as a group on Monday that did me in. I was like please say you're joking.

      But nope. Monday morning, we had a discussion about it.

      Yeah purse so wasn't big enough to hold an extra pair. It's never happened to me before!!

  2. It all sounds very "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days - esque" to me... obnoxious!

    1. It was done with good intentions and the other girls were all over getting some help. Me? I was just a bit embarrassed by it.

  3. Dear gods.. I don't know how I would've dealt with that. Kudos to you for keeping calm during it! I might've run off.

    1. It was kinda funny, and I was fortified with Vodka. When they started scanning the bar for guys? I was outta there.

  4. Oh my! :o You were a good sport to endure that, LOL. Sounds like the party was a good time even if it didn't unfold quite as planned. :)

    1. It is what it is. I started to freak when the hose snagged but oh well.

  5. Oh my word. I probably would have cried. It helps that it was ALL the single girls getting the attention, and not JUST you though. I hope you had a lot of vodka.

    1. It started out as just focusing on me, and then one of the other single girls overheard and jumped in and then at least it was dispersed.

  6. Awesome! Let them play! It would be excellent blogging material...

    I'm just saying...can I live vicariously through you? And can we do this, pleeeeeease?