Monday, December 10, 2012

Is EVERYONE getting married?

I know that logically, I've reached the age where it's reasonable for my friends and acquaintances to start pairing off in wedded bliss.

I get it.

But does EVERYONE need to get married all at the same time?

Last week I got the wonderful news that my ex-boyfriend, yeah THAT ex-boyfriend, got engaged yesterday.

I'm not enthused either kid.
Yay for him.

Ironically this will be his third engagement (third time lucky dude?) and it's to a girl he started dating in May of this year.

But despite my best intentions, I was much more upset about this than I probably should have been.  In the past 6 months,  2 of my female friends and 3 of my ex-boyfriends have gotten engaged.

When friends get engaged, you're happy for them.  It's exciting but a little sad because slowly one by one, everyone gets paired off and if you're single, you can feel like you are being left behind.  But when an ex gets their Happily Ever After, especially if the break-up was ugly or you lack fond memories of the relationship as a whole it's a bit different.

Sometimes you can't help but be a little angry that they put you through hell and instead of karma kicking them in the ass, they get their happy ending and pretty little bride while you're still stuck dating the never ending group of men that falls into the "I'm 30 but still act like I'm 18" category.

Is it wrong that I hope this blows up in his face?  I mean does that make me a bad person?  I had almost 5 years of hell and left the relationship a shadow of the person I was going into it and he's going to walk off into the sunset with someone he's known about 8 months?  It's not even like I want him back or anything.  GOD NO!!

It's just my inner bitch kinda wants him to be miserable for a while longer.

Cheers,

Ash

p.s. BTW, 3 ex-boyfriends in the past 6 months?  If you're reading this, and I've dated you?  WTF?  Am I like the Good Luck Chuck of ex-girlfriends?

17 comments:

  1. I totally feel you here. The summer I was 24 I had 6 very close friends get married. You just want to scream "Will you please stop?!?"

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    1. To add to the wedding's and engagements, 3 friends have had babies in the past 3 months.

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    2. Oh dear! Keep your chin up lady!

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  2. I hear you, 100%. I pretty much want to start crying and eating my feelings every time I see an engagement "story" pop up on my FB newsfeed.

    However, in terms of the ex... karma is a bitch. She'll come back and kick him square in the nuts. Hopefully.

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    1. I feel like finding this woman and shaking her. I mean she clearly doesn't know him that well. Either that or she's as crazy as he is....in that case. Have fun!

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  3. Several things: I've had 3 guy friends get engaged in the last month (two of whom I've banged). For a grand total of 4-6 weddings next year. Since 2002, I've averaged at 3 friend weddings per year. PER YEAR. And some of those years there was only 1 wedding. So 6 weddings in a year? Yep story of my fucking life. Of my ex boyfriends, 1 has been married 3 times, 1 is on his 2nd marriage, 1 is happily married, and 1 is maybe single/maybe in a relationship. Also, I have always said that because everyone (and I mean fucking everyone) gets engaged in December (which is dumb) that I don't want to get engaged in December. But Goddammit if one more person gets engaged that isn't me, I'm going to cut some bitches.

    Oh, hi. Happy Monday. :)

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    1. OMG this made me laugh. Hey hun. I had a bunch of friends that got married about 5 years ago, and those are the one's that are now starting to procreate. And I've had ex-boyfriends get married. But 3 in the past few months? Really? WTF.

      If it makes you feel any better, there's like no shot in hell of me getting engaged before you so think of that as a positive :D

      xoxox

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    2. Oh there's a shot...Brian is a little gunshy. ;-)

      But yeah, I've got the procreating friends, too. Seriously, though--I'm glad I could make you laugh!

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  4. Tis the season! I'm avoid that little sidebar on Facebook announcing everyone's milestones... until Facebook invents one for me: "Sabrina got drunk tonight" followed by the icon of a pink heart.

    Back to you, ThatAshGirl. You are NOT a bad person for wanting it to blow up in his face. The nice, kind person in all of us wants to be happy for others' happiness, but the realistically, it's impossible not to make comparisons or feel a twinge of envy.

    None of my ex-boyfriends are ever allowed to get engaged.

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    1. Better a "Sabrina got drunk tonight" icon, vs an "Ashley rented a movie and curled up with a cup of tea" icon ;)

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  5. I feel your pain. One of my exes is now married with a baby and the other, last I heard, was living with a girl he started dating about 2 months after we broke up. I remind myself that while they may appear happy, they are probably still the same fuck ups they were when I had them. ;)

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    1. Ug....2 of my ex's. One from this round, and one a few years ago married the girls they dated after me. It's not a fun feeling.

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    2. I'm with bluemoon here. It all looks so great from far away but I'm sure nothing's changed - just a different girl. Believe me, if anyone "won" it's you.

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    3. Oh I'm sure. A few people have said it, maybe she's just as crazy as he is and it's a match made in heaven.

      I'm just glad I got out while the gettin' was good.

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  6. I feel more sorry for the girl he is about to marry. Count your lucky stars you got out of that relationship and got your "self" back! I'm going to sound like an old lady now (but I do understand how you feel and remember what is was like to be the only one unmarried or without a boyfriend)because I am kind of an old lady: Enjoy being single! Marriage is hard. It's not like it is on TV.

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    1. Thanks Lillian. I'm very lucky that I was smart enough to get away when I did. I don't dislike being single at all, I'm very much comfortable being in my own company but still, the desire for that level of companionship is there.

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