Friday, November 30, 2012

The Self Conscious Introvert Gets Ready for a Party

I hate getting dressed up.

Ok, I don't hate it, but getting dressed up makes me very self conscious.

By my very nature, I tend to hide in a large group.  I'm generally self conscious about everything from how my hair looks to the size of my ass.

For work, I'm generally low key.  I wear glasses instead of contacts.  I let my curly hair do it's own thing and end up stuffing it into a messy bun 99% of the time.  I wear practically no make-up at all other than mascara and a bit of concealer.  I run around all the time so I rarely wear heels in the office anymore and 80% of my wardrobe is black.  Or charcoal.  Same difference.

So the thought of dressing up for our staff holiday party is daunting to say the least.

Every year for the party, I make a point of straightening my long hair (it's about 3/4 of the way down my back).  Wearing some lipstick and eyeshadow, popping in a pair of contact lenses and putting on a dress with some killer heels.

And every year I get people freaking out.  I mean the compliments are all very nice but it's the whole Clark Kent/Superman thing.  I apparently look DRASTICALLY different.  To the point that one year one of the partners walked right by me and didn't realize who it was.  And another year one of my friends had to do a double take.

So although the whole thing is fun, I don't love the attention.  And it makes me want to hide in the corner.

I learned last year, 5 inch red suede heels?  Don't really let you hide.

As some of my friends already know, I'm freaking out about it a bit this year.  I got the shoes, I have a dress but I'm starting to worry that it will be too cleavage revealing, I don't know what I'm going to do with my hair because it's too long and big and unmanageable and OMG I'm so pale!!!

BREATHE ASHLEY!!

Don't even get me going no worrying on if I'm going to wake up that day with a pimple or if my make-up will look stupid or if I'm just going to look totally ridiculous. 

Can ya tell panic has set in?

I mean I know I'm not alone in this.  Other people freak out too right?

I mean I've worked with these people for 5 years and it's only a cocktail party and dinner.  And it's company only so I don't have to worry about bringing a date.

OMG that would have started a whole other level of panic. 

I need a drink.

Cheers,

Ash

8 comments:

  1. People think they're being nice by fawning over you and I think any time there's a huge drastic change like what you're describing, people are going to have something to say, not even realizing maybe you don't want that extra attention. I don't know what else to say except that's what happens when you're a pretty girl!

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    1. I know, in my head I can't help but think.....does this mean I look like shit the other 364 days a year?

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  2. People do the same thing when I wear a dress at work. I know it's a compliment generally, but sometimes I feel like the underlying statement is that I usually look like a schlub, LOL.

    This year I'm looking forward to showing up in a fitted little dress and heels with my hair all blown out and glam. We should enjoy getting prettied up and just have a good time! Also, my party is date - eligible and I'm flying solo by choice. ;) More fun that way!

    I bet you will look awesome, and you should feel empowered by it. :D

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    1. Good for you, I know you're going to rock it!! I mean the whole thing is complimentary but it makes me a bit uncomfortable. Thankfully we do no-dates here. We did dates one year but it was so uncomfortable for the spouses because we're a fairly crazy group.

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  3. It's natural to feel insecure and self-conscious when you receive compliments. But people are drawn to change and that is what they comment on. For instance, if you only wore suits everyday, people might comment on how great you look in jeans. Plus, the whole point of a party is to dress a little fancier than usual. :)

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  4. Oy! That's just like the compliment "Wow! You look really cute today!" Today? Why couldn't you just say "Oh, that's a cute top" or "That's a pretty new hairstyle." At least that's more specific and doesn't make me feel like I'm a schlub every other day...

    But Sabrina is right - the point in the party is to get a little fancier than usual. Party pants are called party pants for a reason :-p Have a blast! Unless you already did the party, then I HOPE you had a blast!

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    1. Party is this friday. I'm sure I'll have fun but the nerves are still there.

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  5. Embrace the awesome. Just do it. :) You'll be fab!

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