Wednesday, September 5, 2012

I think it's time to break up with Facebook.

I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook.

I like that it allows me to keep in touch with people in an unobtrusive manner.  But I hate the bullshit.

It's a way for people to snoop around in your life, presuming you're stupid enough to put a daily
play-by-play up.

It's also a waste precious internet time that I could be utilizing to look at cute/funny pictures of cats.

Like this one.  LOOK AT THE FLUFF!
But more than anything, it's made me realize that most of the people I know are retarded.  Not in a short bus  kinda way but in a "Why in the HELL did you post that for public viewing kinda way?!?"

I mean what the hell is wrong with people?

When did we as a society, come to the conclusion that it is OK to update everyone you know about every little occurance in your daily life.

I don't care that you went to the gym and burned 800 calories, you're making me feel lazy.
I don't care that you went to the park with your child AGAIN and took a dozen pictures because LITTLE PEOPLE FRIGHTEN ME.
I don't want an hourly update on your pregnancy induced food cravings 'cause dude, I just don't need to know.
I don't care what you pinned on Pinterest, if I did, I'd go on fucking Pinterest.
I don't care that you got into an argument with your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse.  Because if you actually wanted to talk to me about it, you wouldn't post a passive-aggressive status on Facebook.
I don't care if you're sad/depressed/lonely/angry/frightened because again, you're being a passive-aggressive douchebag and I'm just going to ignore your cry for attention.

Are you getting where I'm going with this? 

Facebook has turned us all into over-sharers.  Most of the people on our friends lists we don't actively talk to and yet we feel the need to update these people about every inconsequential thing we do.

It's mental and it has to stop.

I don't know if I'm quite ready to cut the cord yet and delete my profile but over the next week or so I'm going to do a purge. 

If you have ever invited me to play Farmville/Cityville/Assholeville ever.....GONE!
If you play the above mentioned games and bombard my newsfeed with your "I built a barn!" updates then by all that is holy, you are so.....GONE!
If I added you as a friend 3 years ago because we went to school together but we have never ONCE talked in that time....GONE!
If your status picture is of you in your wedding dress despite the fact that you got married more than 12 months ago.....GONE!
If you have had more than one picture of your unborn fetus as your profile pic....GONE!
If I already block you from my newsfeed because your posts annoy me.....GONE!
If I have ever read your status and said "<Name> SHUT THE FUCK UP!" out loud or in my guessed it.....GONE!!

What I should be left with is people I actually talk to, care about or wish to interact with on any level.





  1. HAHA! I made a couple posts about these EXACT issues. OMG, it makes me NUTS. The wedding dress one is awesome and so true. Let it go, dude. It was like 3 years ago. I really don't know why I don't just delete it. I check it a lot and I HATE it. That can't be healthy. I'm about to add: you preach your political views on a regular basis (whether I agree with them or not). I regularly purge people; it's so therapeutic.

    1. I know, it kills me. Someone once joked that checking facebook is like looking in the fridge. No matter how many times you look, nothing new is going to magically appear. Every time I log in, I see something that just KILLS me. I should also add to this the people who put up multiple bible quotes every day 0_o

    2. I have a girl on my FB today who has had her wedding pictures up for the last 3 years. I know it's been 3 years because she just posted today that it's their 3-year anniversary!

      And the bible-thumpers.... OK, fine, you like God, that's cool man, but do you do anything *other* than read the bible? I have some SUPER religious cousins that I added to my friends long ago because I figured it was good for them to get exposure to a heathen ;-)

    3. LOL I got you beat, for some reason a few religious bloggers have started following me on twitter. I don't know them, haven't read their blogs and they don't comment on mine so no idea how they found me. I feel the need to send them a tweet in warning saying "Caution: says fuck a lot"

    4. YES! The bible quotes are really irritating, too.

    5. Also the people who are constantly asking for people to donate to some organization. I have a "friend" who does breast cancer shit like every day. I mean, that's awesome but please stop soliciting on facebook. It's really getting old.

  2. PS: LOVE the cat picture! hahaha!

    1. LOL I died laughing when I found that one. If I tried to do that to my cat he'd claw me to death.

  3. The games requests - EFF! Just because my name starts with "A" and I'm at the top of your friend list doesn't mean you have to invite me EVERY TIME!

    I was also very embarassed one time when I'd been pinning stuff on Pinterest (the ONLY reason I even joined that site was so that I could organize what I want to do for my Apt and see it all in one place and figure out what I actually want my place to look like and what is just a random faddy object I don't need) and realized that it had ALL been sharing to Facebook. I hate those people and I was sick to find out I'd accidentally become one.

    While I completely empathize with this post, I know I break these rules from time to time. I know I have about 20 friends who care about the mundane shit I do in my life, and so I share for them. For the others - I figure people can delete me or hide me if they don't like what I post - I'm not going to hold it against them.

    1. I can handle a certain amount of mundane shit. The one's that are starting to bug me now are the one's that feel the need to "check-in" at every place they go, I'm gonna block their asses.

  4. LOL. You are a friggin' riot. Seriously.

    1. Thanks hun. I totally creeped your blog. You're a funny chick too :D