Friday, September 21, 2012

I feel like....

Over the last few days I've had the revelation that I am allowed to feel the way that I do.

We all have feelings.  Good one's and bad, but over time I had convinced myself that I wasn't allowed to have certain feelings.

Get your mind out of the gutter, not THOSE kinds of feelings ;)

I'd feel angry at a friend because they had let me down and I would find myself rationalizing their behaviour so I wouldn't have to be angry at them anymore.  

Somebody would say something hurtful and I would find a way to turn it around that they are just being honest and that I'm being overly sensitive.  Or that whatever criticism they had of me was true and that I was at fault. 

Somewhere along the line, I started to think that I didn't have the right to my anger, or my frustration or my stress.  That in the grand scheme of things, the things I was bothered by weren't that important and were insignificant compared to what other people were feeling.

But I'm entitled to my feelings just as much as I'm entitled to my opinion. If I think someone has done something shitty that huts my feelings, then I have a right to feel that way.  Doesn't mean I want to dwell on it but acknowledging those feelings, addressing them and letting them go is a heck of a lot healthier  than making excuses for them, rationalizing their behaviour or worse off, finding a way to blame myself for their actions.

This may not sound like a big deal, but it was a huge deal to me and a revelation that was a long time coming.

Cheers,

Ash

And now to make myself feel better.....gratuitous kitten picture.

Jasper once tried to drown a feathered toy in his water bowl.  He went all jungle cat on it.

5 comments:

  1. Love :) I think kitten pictures should be a staple in your posts moving forward.

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  2. Right on! Learning not to berate ourselves for our feelings is sooo important. It's funny how we can empathize with other people all day long, but we don't give ourselves that same empathy. We tell ourselves "I can see why she is upset about that..." and then we tell ourselves "I'm an idiot, there's no reason to be upset." We deserve our respect just as much as others do!

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  3. @annie Very very true. We cut everyone slack but ourselves.

    @ames......kittens kittens EVERYWHERE!!

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  4. It is so easy sometimes to rationalize the behavior of others in order to make peace with something in our heads. Sometimes that may be okay, but other times it's just masking a true, valid feeling, like you mentioned. Too easy to be a doormat if you do too much of the rationalizing...I should know, LOL. ;)

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  5. I think once you stop making excuses for people, life is very different. You put up with much less and for a much shorter period of time.

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