Sunday, December 11, 2011

A Night Out Featuring Martinis, Disco, Cougars and Creeps

Ever had a night out that was just worthy of telling people about?  Either because it was EPIC or in my case, totally ridiculous?

As of last night, I've officially started to embrace two distinct facts.  

1. That weird shit just happens to me.
2. That if there's a psycho in a bar, he will find me, ask for my number and grab my ass.

OK so for a quick summary.  Last night I went out with a girlfriend of mine for a nice dressed up evening of martinis and dancing at a funky little lounge in downtown Toronto where we both live.

The place we went to was super cute and had the best music ever.  It was a combo of Top 40 hits, Disco and random things like Springsteen and Randy Travis.  Everyone was just laughing and singing along to the random songs coming out of the speakers.  But honestly, it's probably the most fun I've had out dancing in a LONG TIME. 

It was a swanky dressed up crowd of 30-somethings who were all really friendly and just having a fun time.  It's also a small lounge that only accommodates about 100 people so everyone gets to know each other pretty quickly and random group impressions of The Hustle were not that uncommon.

Yet even a night where I was taught how to Two-Step buy a guy in Three Piece Suit, things can go horribly wrong quite quickly.

I was introduced to a guy that my friend knew casually from going to this lounge in the past.  He seemed nice, if a bit cheesy with his practiced charm and hand kissing, but overall pretty normal.  As the night progressed he found a way to walk by me multiple times and would touch me every time he did.  Brushing my arm or putting his hand on my waist.  In general harmless but I was not interested in him so declined his offer to buy me a drink or to dance claiming that I was just out with a girlfriend and wanted to have fun.

So basically, "Thanks.  I'm flattered, but no thanks."

But still, as the night progressed and I'm guessing he had more to drink, he started to get annoyed that I would pull away from him and didn't seem interested.  At it's worst he kept cornering me against the wall and trying to talk me into giving him my number, going home with him, dancing with him, admitting I was interested in him and when I told him I thought he was nice but call me old fashioned, I didn't know him well enough to allow him to hold onto my ass for the evening.


Now I bet you're thinking "Hey she was with a friend, what was this friend doing while this was going on?" 

My friend was enjoying the attention of a guy who she actually WANTED to grab her ass.  Lucky for her, if not very smart, she ended up going home with the guy.

So this brings up a valid question.

Am I old fashioned for not thinking it's cool that my friend went home with a guy she met 15 minutes before?  I was worried about her and made her text me when she got there and when she went home.  But don't most women know this is unsafe? 

Also, when your friend is being harassed by a guy that you know and she asks for your help, that's when you pull up your socks and ditch the guy for 15 minutes and help your girlfriend.

And in general, it's not cool to abandon a friend who's been drinking without knowing if they can get home safely. 

It's two of the cardinal rules of girlfriendship.  Don't let a drunk friend go home with a stranger.  And if your friend is in trouble, ditch the guy and help her out.  End of story.
 
Thankfully she's OK, and despite me having to do quite a bit of walking in the cold I made it home in one safe, if a bit frozen, piece

But seriously. 

Am I a prude for not wanting some random guy to grab my ass repeatedly? 

Am I old fashioned for thinking my friend is an idiot for going home with a guy she's know for no longer than 15 minutes?

Am I over reacting when I started to panic a bit that some guy I had told I wasn't interested in, literally pinned me against a wall and got in my face about not handing over my phone number?

Girls, I think we should all have a bit more respect for ourselves than to sleep with a guy you've known for 15 minutes. 

Friends, it's not nice to abandon a friend alone without making sure they have a way to get home.

And Guys, it's never cool to try and physically intimidate a girl who has politely said she's not interested.
  
Am I right? 

Thoughts.

Cheers,

Ash

p.s.  Thank-you to my other friend, who at 3am responded to my text and stayed on the line the entire time I was walking home and keep me feeling safe and making me laugh.  You're the kind of gentleman that all other guys should learn from.  xoxoxox

1 comment:

  1. I'm allll about random guys grabbing my ass. NOT! Ugh. This is one reason I tend to not go out in these settings. You are not prude for not wanting to bang out some dude you've only known a minute, you're SMART.

    PS: How about some guy putting his hands down your pants while dancing?! Happened my freshman year in college. I punched him.

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