Saturday, May 14, 2011

Dating In Your Late 20s SUCKS - Part 2

So we've already established that meeting new people in your late 20s isn't always the easiest thing in the world.

But low and behold.  You've actually met someone and you're going on the ever-stressful first date.

<Insert Dramatic Music>

Dun-dun-dun!!!

Where are you going, is he picking you up, what are you going to wear, what if he doesn't like you, what if you don't like him?

Then there's the next day questions.

"Sooooooooo how was your date?"

Ug.  Shoot me now.

Honestly I've gone on so many bad first dates that I've stopped telling my friends that I even HAVE a date just do I don't have to deal with deconstructing it with them afterwards.

So for your entertainment purposes I will now summarize some of the funnier moments of my dating history over the last 18 months or so. 

K: Amateur politician.  Asshole.

J:  Smart, worked for a publishing house.  Condescending SNOB.

L:  Cute, mechanic, perv who wasn't looking for a girlfriend but another name to add to the long list of women he'd screwed.

B:  World traveller, worked in media.  Slobbery kisser, just got out of a serious relationship and was not looking for anything other than a casual date.

S: Professional student.  No desire to grow up and get a real job.  Drank WAY too much.

G:  Smart history buff who worked for the Government.  Had never had a "real" girlfriend and lived with his divorced mother and financially supported her.

D:  Artist.  Worked a corporate job he didn't like just to pay the bills.  Pretty much continued to live the frat boy life despite being 31 years old.

J:  Techie.  Asked slightly creepy questions like if I had ever made a guy cry before.

M:  Ex-boyfriend.  Convinced me to have a friendly coffee with him.  He proceeded to tell me that he had just broken up with his current girlfriend and thought we should sleep together because we were already "comfortable" with each other.

G:  Musician and recently graduated student.  Told me that he thought I'd get along really well with his GIRLFRIEND.

Now add this to the list of guys I've had serious relationships with and you'll see why I'm not necessarily chomping at the bit to go out on dates.  I haven't had the greatest success with men.  Hell I was told by an old boss of mine that I was an asshole magnet.  He said I should get a t-shirt that said "Assholes need not apply."  He was serious.  I can't blame him.  I tend to be a magnet for either jerks or incredibly inappropriate men.

So the sad reality is that in my experience, a lot of single men in their late 20s or early 30s have some issues.  Not to say that single women at this age don't but they tend to be different issues.

In the past 2 years I've learned that many (not all) single men at this age fall into one of the following categories.

1) They want to be single.
2) They have baggage or presume that you do.
3) They're living the party life while they cling desperately to their beer drinking youth.
4) They're jerks, dicks, douche bags, pricks or psychos.
5) They've got mom issues, ex-girlfriend issues, ex-wife issues and/or women issues in general.
6) They're workaholics.
7) They're gay.
8) They're already your ex-boyfriend.
9) They're the mythical "nice guy" who you hear exists but you never actually meet because he never attempts to talk to you.

All in all, the whole thing sucks and is kinda depressing.  Especially during a time in your life when many of your friends are pairing up, getting engaged, getting married or having babies.

But hope springs eternal.

Cheers,

Ash

11 comments:

  1. Sorry, but it sounds like you are the problem. Blaming men will only work for so long.

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  2. How rude! how can you make a comment when you don't know them! i find most of the comments true.

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  3. I only hold men accountable for their own actions. Do I blame a man who is in a relationship for asking another girl on a date? Hell yes I do. But are his actions my fault? Is there something about me specifically that attracts disrespectful men? It's your right to believe whatever you want to about me. -ThatAshGirl

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  4. 27 year old grad student here. Single, attractive, very smart, musically talented, passionate, and also tired of coming home from less than memorable evenings and asking myself "isn't there more than this?" Hit me up :)

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  5. OMG. I was laughing out loud to the men you dated - so sorry, I feel your pain! I have to say, I work in a big city and I gave up on dating. It was really sad to see that most of these guys had hidden agendas - or not so hidden. However, females are almost worse, I think. SO many of them, in the city I'm in anyway, are just looking to get married. I don't understand why that's the goal and not looking for someone who's compatible with them. Anyway, thanks for sharing!

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  6. I think we've been dating the same guys. I'm 27, and apparently an asshole magnet. Add to that that I am divorced from my high school sweetheart (obvious baggage, that I have to claim) and because of the financial hell of that + layoffs, have had no choice but to move back in with my family. It has been *awesome*.

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  7. I am a 28 yo single guy.


    1) They want to be single.
    ---- Well, I wanted to be single when I was 24-25. not anymore-------

    2) They have baggage or presume that you do.
    ---no baggage for me------------

    3) They're living the party life while they cling desperately to their beer drinking youth.
    -----check-----------

    4) They're jerks, dicks, douche bags, pricks or psychos.
    -----check...-----------

    5) They've got mom issues, ex-girlfriend issues, ex-wife issues and/or women issues in general.
    ----- check. i am way too attached to my Mom ------------

    6) They're workaholics.
    ----- Check. I work 15+ hours per day----------

    7) They're gay.
    ------ Nope -----------

    8) They're already your ex-boyfriend.
    ------- No ---------

    9) They're the mythical "nice guy" who you hear exists but you never actually meet because he never attempts to talk to you.
    ------ Yeah. fits my profile ---------------

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  8. I'm a 27 year old guy that in January of this year, so six months ago now, dated and fell in love with a girl. We had lots of fun and thought that everything would go great forever. She had a lot of issues and been through many things that were very hard, one of them being sexual abuse. But I loved her all the same and helped her as much as I could. I'm not saying that I didn't have issues, everyone does, but I have my own business, good family, want to treat women as good as possible, and try to be perfectible.

    After helping her through all of this, she decided that the one thing that was not "good enough" was I didn't make enough money. That is not to say it was not a mutual break up, but of all the things it could have been the breaker was money.

    I still want to find a girl that I can enjoy life with, but I am getting weary of being treated with disrespect because my life is not perfect before I meet people.

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    Replies
    1. I seriously feel the need to hug you. Dealing with someone else's issues is tough enough but when you add in a history of sexual abuse I can only imagine how difficult it was for you to deal with. Leaving someone because of money is more than a little shallow in my opinion. I mean I have issues with men and women that have no ambition or work ethic but I would never hold it against someone who worked hard at a job that just happened to not pay as well as other jobs. I hope you find someone :D

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  9. RE no#9.....its 2013......why are YOU not approaching guys you like the look of or that look like nice guys?!

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